Comments on Bahá’í Thought: Is There a Baha'i "Dr. Ruth"?

I've really never thought about this. However,...

2010-01-03T19:31:07.230-03:00

I've really never thought about this. However, having reflected on it, my feelings are as follows. First, in the Baha'i Faith our focus (in my experience) tends to be on the spiritual transformation of mankind, detachment from the world and the taming of fleshly passions. Not that this implies a distaste for sex, but simply that sex is not really that *important* in & of itself. Second, our culture (in the U.S. & other Westernized countries) is drowning in a sea of sexuality. It's everywhere, & information on sex is freely available to any who seek it. Therefore, any Baha'i who has a grasp of the Faith's teachings on the spirituality of marriage & laws about extra-marital sex, and also avails him/herself of our society's extensive information on sex, already has the necessary combination of input to formulate a sound concept of a healthy, happy married sex life. BUT, I suppose Baha'is in other cultures where sexual information is not so freely available would be in need of some guidance in this area.

Steve thanks for weighing in. I actually think you...

2009-08-25T13:31:32.862-03:00

Steve thanks for weighing in. I actually think you would be a great person to provide leadership in this area and hope you would consider doing so!

The best public discussion of sex in marriage I ev...

2009-08-25T12:05:21.725-03:00

The best public discussion of sex in marriage I ever heard was a session in Foundation Hall at a youth conference in the late 90's where Robert Henderson and Curtis Russell offered frank, loving, and clear-headed comments. The relief in the room, the sense that finally someone said something "real", i.e. not just a Bahai version of "just say no," was palpable. But in general, on an ongoing basis, no this is a huge hole in our community.

-- Steven Thomson

Thanks Ted. I'm flattered.

2009-08-17T13:16:51.391-03:00

Thanks Ted. I'm flattered.

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2009-08-17T00:31:22.746-03:00

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Not that I've heard it often discussed - but i...

2009-08-16T00:15:59.828-03:00

Not that I've heard it often discussed - but it was clear in a few small but public discussions that sex in marriage is to be enjoyed and a sense that it's partly about discovering. But the discussion never goes beyond that.

Flipping the coin back alittle bit, it (intense emotional relationships) is one of the things I don't think human hearts are meant to make and break often. But it's hard to really go it alone - to strike out in what we really want for ourselves. Almost everything we do is couched by some norms and sensibilities. Additionally the crux of relationships is that it is indeed about two people (and then there are children.) It's not just what one wants emotionally and physically; it's also what the other wants to do and what we want to give. And we change - I've already mentioned children - how much energy they take emotionally and physically! Then there's advancement at work to increase pay to pay for insurance for children - more intensity there. And there is aging which at first never seems to come and then you turn around and decades have passed and knees and backs don't act like they used to. Changes come. Challenges about - oversexed media, seeking spirituality but also where we are at in the spectrum of physical and spiritual. Taking time to take time and share time keeps changing!

And I certainly never heard of 22 positions in the Qur'an! Hinduism was the only religion I've heard of with anything like a sex manual - and that has another society's norms in it and whether it's truly divine inspiration or not....

hallo from italy

2009-08-14T13:41:51.482-03:00

hallo from italy

Barney, thanks for weighing in. Given your experie...

2009-08-12T07:30:15.977-03:00

Barney, thanks for weighing in. Given your experience you're in a much better position to comment on this than me who has only been a Baha'i for a little over a decade. Sex is hard to talk about and it may be that some feel that open discussion of the topic is inconsistent with pursuing a chaste and holy life. I can see why people would have such a view and am suggesting that talking about this in a way that reflects the nobility of the soul is something we have to learn to do and will take time, especially as we do not have a lot of examples of how to do it (we certainly have lots of examples of how not to do it!).

What do other people think?

Phillipe, thank you so much for addressing this im...

2009-08-12T06:52:35.143-03:00

Phillipe, thank you so much for addressing this important, but often hidden, topic. You're right to say that most Baha'i discourse about sex focuses on abstinence outside marriage. I don't recall anyone in all my 43 years as a Baha'i and 39 years of marriage ever talking about the importance for Baha'is of having a healthy sex life within marriage. Is it that "we just don't like to talk about things like that"? Are we too coy? Or too private?